The Submissive Side of Leadership

Submissiveness and leadership may seem like an oxymoron. Effective leadership requires a strong vision, decisiveness, determination, and tenacity — and I certainly can’t argue with that. But at the same time, leaders need to allow themselves the opportunity to listen to others as well as environmental cues so that we can strategically — and creatively — respond to the world in which we live — and make that world a better place.

Collaborative creative leadership is the process of gathering, integrating, cultivating, and cyclically enhancing the ideas and dreams of others, resulting in possibilities that we alone could not imagine or realize. Ideas can be gathered both formally and informally, through dialogue and multilogue, intentionally and haphazardly, as well as verbally and nonverbally. Ideas are everywhere — in words spoken and unspoken, cloud formations, passive sighs, and the distinctive colors of each evening’s sunset. Intuitive leaders are always paying attention, and are continually analyzing and making sense of their observations.

The ideas that emerge can be woven together, creating a unique tapestry of possibility — one where the colors and textures become more deep, complex, and alive with every passing moment. Each careful, delicate stitch expands and enhances the leader’s vision for provocation and transformation. As that vision is enacted and becomes experience, new threads are spun and woven into the cloth. The tapestry is not just a spectacle for followers to gawk at, it is a living thing to which they can contribute. It reflects something inside of them and something that inspires them; yet, it is much more beautiful and expansive than what they originally intended. The cloth was created by the leader, yet the image it projects was derived from a much broader source.

Being submissive isn’t about being soft, it is about being confident enough in ourselves and our strengths to listen, respond, and create. Submission in leadership is not an all-or-nothing proposition; it is a moment-to-moment process from which we can exit at any moment. It is also not about obedience and conformity; leaning into our submissive side as leaders actually challenges and provokes the world as it exists. Leaders are expected to be in the front, to be the point of light that everyone else seeks out and follows. When that leader instead ignites the light within each person in the crowd, the ambient but energizing glow of new possibilities ensues. Being submissive doesn’t require us to give up anything in ourselves, it provides an opportunity to receive and employ the individual and collective wisdom of others.

Fear keeps leaders from allowing ourselves to be submissive – fear of losing control, appearing incompetent, having someone else get ahead, or being perceived as unleader-like. By letting go of fear in leadership, we can creatively collaborate to not only reimagine our world, but to make tangible and sustainable changes.

L3: Be Quiet and Listen

When DJ Kool Herc founded Hip Hop, he realized that people came alive during the breaks – the momentary gaps in the music he played as a DJ. When finding any rhythm, the quiet spaces where there is an absence of sound, light, or matter is often what defines the tenor of the movement from moment to moment.

When we are still and quiet, beauty and peace have the opportunity to emerge. In our stillness, life’s true meaning is revealed.

Listening to our hearts, other people, and nature leads us to deepen our understanding, acquire knowledge, and grow in our wisdom. Listening is the process of accepting and absorbing what is offered to us and allowing it to melt into our being so that we are transformed. When we listen, we resist the urge to control and commandeer conversations and activities; instead, we allow everything around us – divine energy, nature, our friends and family – the opportunity to infiltrate and influence every aspect of our lives.

We live in a loud, busy world where it is easy to get caught up in a frenetic pace chasing after multiple ideas and things. Sometimes, we forget what we are looking for or, if we remember, we forget why it was important to us in the beginning. Give yourself the gift of time to reflect on your motivations, desires, and purpose to add meaning to your daily routine and to ensure that your actions are aligned with your deepest values.

Silence creates the space needed for new ideas to blossom. When we constantly think, do, and react, the creative process is suffocated. Silence and stillness provide the energy needed to invigorate inspiration and innovation. Your composed countenance will have a calming effect on all of the people around you, too!

There are many ways that you can find quiet time within your daily schedule. Start and end the day with a few minutes of meditation or prayer. Connect with nature by gardening, hiking, or birdwatching. Allow yourself a break when you are working – a real break. Pause and take some time to reflect during or after meetings before making important decisions. Take time to smell the literal and figurative roses.

Be still. Be quiet. Be open. Set a new pace in your life – one where you can feel your soul emerge in the breaks.